Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Permission to Say No

Spring is approaching, even though the snow is still covering my yard. As my Facebook profile status states:
"Angie Weid is excited about the return of the wonderful smell of earthworms crawling across the sidewalks in springtime." (wanna be my friend?)

Aaah.....do you know the smell I'm talking about?

Spring is also a good time to evaluate your commitments.
I am beginning to look at where my time is being spent vs. what benefit am I getting from it.
Interesting I found this article this week about saying "No" to some things.

Let's look at a week: (warning math lesson ahead)
24 hours/day = 168 hours/week
168 hours/week - 56 hours sleeping/week = 112 hours/week (8 hours/night sleeping)
112 hours/week - 40 hours working/week = 72 hours/week
72 hours/week for everything else that is life.
WOW! I hope you are making the most of your time.

You can't do everything. You can try, though you will certainly burn out at some point likely resulting at screaming at your kids for leaving their boots on while running through the house like monkeys (not like that really happens).

It is OK to say 'No.'
Here are a few tips on saying 'No:'

1. You deserve to take priority. Take time for yourself. Make sure you give yourself some free time to pamper yourself, just relax, or work on a hobby. Perhaps it is only 10-15 minutes, better than zero. In our home, my boys know that "if mommy is not happy, no one is happy."

2. Do not make excuses for 'no.' People respect honesty and hate hearing excuses. Treat yourself right and you can't help but treat others right too. If you need to use humor to lighten the 'no', do it!

3. Do not make commitments you're not prepared to keep. Saying 'no' is only a refusal of that particular request. Taking on a task that may overwelm you will only result in added stress in your life and resentment toward the commitment. Much better for you to say 'no.'

4. Remember you don't have to give a reason. We don't give reasons when we say 'yes' so why should we have to give a reason for saying 'no.' A simple 'I appreciate you asking, but no thanks' will often do the trick. Kick your guilt to the curb!

5. Set limits. If you are only available to help for 4 hours on Saturday, tell them that and stick to your limits. Keep in mind to be firm but polite. You need to recognize how much you can reasonably do.

6. Delegate. If nothing else works or you begin to feel a bit a stress building, remember to ask for help. Perhaps delegate some of your commitments to others. Delegation is the key to being a good leader. Break up things among family members, friends, organizations, or co-workers. Allow others to help you.

I guess if all else fails next time someone asks you to do something you really don't want to do, and feel like you can't come up with something quickly, just tell them "Oh, I'd love to, but Angie said No." I'll take the heat for you.

What did you say 'No' to?


Anonymous said...


Cheryl Engfer said...

I so suck at sayin no, although I'm getting better.

Do you really like the smell of worms? I thought I was the only one in the free world that knew the smell of worms! My family thinks I'm nuts when I say "I smell worms" Their like "what? how to worms smell?"

Quite frankly the smell always makes me wanna hurl. But YOU GO GIRL lmao

Angie Weid said...

Oh, I didn't say I enjoyed the smell of worms. Guess the sarcasm didn't come through in the quote. The smell of worms though is a sign of spring, and THAT is what I am looking forward to!

Your, "I smell worms" quote is classic. Make me laugh out loud!

SOUL said...

well.. not to be a copy cat-- or expect another laugh-- just sayin... i canalways tell when there is a lake nearby-- cuz "i smell "worm dirt"

i never really thought of it as actual worms though---
but i do say--
i smell worm dirt! must be fish around here-- sure enough-- we find it , sooner or later-- hubby used to be quite surprised -- but not anymore-- but he still can't smell it !
i guess it's a talent few poses.

right cheryl???

happy SPRING !!
it's so close i CAN smell it! woo hoo--

Louise Kahle said...

Makes me think of my sister and brother chasing their big sister with night crawlers from Dad's stash. I have no problem taking a fish off the hook, but I can't put a worm on the hook. It sends chills up to my shoulder. My favorite place to fish was at a pond in Ledyard, Ct. We caught trout with canned corn!

Cheryl Engfer said...

Glad to have made you LOL....I really say it and often as we're coming into the season.

Soul, checked out your blog--you're one funny gal I LOL many times. Men....they just don't get it do they? :)

Tracee Swank, Coach said...

I just said "no" to being on the board of a local business group. In their first meetng of the year that I attended they had a huge fight in front of me. Yeah...that's a professional group I want to be a member of. NOT!
SO - I said no!

Sandy of Sandy's Stuff for Women said...

I learned long ago how effective it is to not give a reason or explanation when you say 'no.' It only makes the asking person explain away the reason ("I'm going to be out of town." "Ok, we'll change the date.") ("I don't have my calendar handy." "Ok, I'll call you tomorrow.")

"No thanks" or "No,sorry" works every time.

Dick and I were recently asked to take cooking lessons with another couple. It didn't sound like fun to us, so I just said, "No thanks, that's just not our cup of tea."

The person accepted my answer as is and it wasn't at all uncomfortable. Try it!