Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Snap, Crackle ... POP!

Long ago I was forced to hold in my thoughts and feelings, which in the end tore me up inside. From this I have learned the more I share my honest feelings with people, the more support I receive.

Well, this has been a helluva couple days for me. Pretty much a mental breakdown, a train wreck of emotions, perhaps a momentary lapse of reason. Funny because it began after I returned from a wonderful weekend voluteering as a mentor at a Girl Scout Camp CEO (read about it here on Debby's blog).

Like most breakdowns, baggage has been building for months. Carrying the pressure of being a single parent, supporting a family, creating a business and enjoying life - my levy broke. Spending pretty much every other hour or so crying about everything for the past 36 hours.

I realized as I shared my woes with pretty much everyone (big Thank You to those who listened), we ALL do this. Juggling life's stresses is done by everyone and sometimes you have to stop, drop and roll to survive.

I am happy to say that I will not be purchasing a motorcycle and driving off to some remote seaside hut to live out my life away from everyone as I count seashells on a beach. My crying fits have subsided and I am ready to get back to enjoying the wonderful life I have.

My pity party has ended.
All sorts of stress has been released and "it's game on baby!"
..... well, until the next mental shakedown .......

What do you want to do when you have a mental snap?


Anonymous said...

Love your question. I've only had two real mental breakdown and the first one I cried to Josh and basically cried for my mommy. Josh was wonderful to me the whole time, along with a few of our friends at the time.

On top of my first move out of my parents house, and out of the only state I had ever lived in, there was a girl crying rape and I couldn't take it. I thought I could help, but it had brought back my nightmares and everywhere I turned, I saw his face (even though it was next to impossible). I broke down.

The second time was coming off my birth control the first time. I cried to my friend Scott because I wanted to leave Josh at that point. No clue what had happened to make me want that since he's always been nothing but wonderful, loving and supportive of me, but that's what I wanted.

Both Scott and I did some research and found out that the birth control I had been on had a drug in it that helped control moods and everything, so it was basically like taking me off of an anti depressant cold turkey. I quickly got back on and was back to normal within 48 hours.

I always go to my family and friends. I've always gone to my mom, she's so wonderful at listening and helping. Now I go more to Josh than my mom, but sometimes I go to mom still.

If you ever have that feeling and want to talk, I'm always just a phone call or email away too. I know we're not that close mainly because of age, but I'm sure I'll be asking you questions about raising babies once mine is here.

I know one thing for sure, you're a kick ass single mother, and I'm going to need your help since 6 months out of the year, I'll basically be the same thing with Josh out to sea.

Angie Weid said...

Stevie - Thank you for your kind words and support. As you begin this next chapter in your life, know that I will always be there for you, too! That's what family and friends are for.

Anonymous said...

I'm only guessing Nimrod was the source of your woes in the past. Hopefully he is not causing these recent ones. Hang in there chick. You're an amazing mom. Your friends, family and fans are all proud of you.

Great post!

Angie Weid said...

Anonymous - nope, he's not the cause, just life stuff. It was far easier dealing with this mental snap as a single parent with support from everyone, than alone and married.

Enjoy the day!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Adventurous Angie! Even in your "outta-whack" state, you're still adventurous! Biking to the beach! Yeah, my butt probably couldn't keep it upright long enough to get anywhere! ;)

Angie Weid said...

Leasa - Thanks for helping cheer me up and keep me from buying that motorcycle. I bet with your latest post your in need of a beer tonight. Cheers!

SOUL said...

you don't wanna know -- :))
let's just be grateful that we all get through those times.. somehow-- right?

happy to hear you got through yours..

happy friday

Heike said...

I think we all go through this periodically. Especially women, as the weight of everything seems to land our shoulders. I can't even imagine being a single mom, even though it seems that I do everything. Kudos to you for keeping it together.

Unfortunately, I am not in situation where I can just leave for a few days when I feel like I am ready to crash. I have to take what I can get, and I sneak away for an hour to have coffee with a friend, or go to buy toilet paper BY MYSELF....yes, it is like a "concentrated" sanity saver. I am in the process of gathering "MY" women once a month, on a regular basis for some spirit fueling.

Recognizing the crash is excellent. I wrote a story called "Angry Women" (now in my book) after working in a mother's center and holding sobbing mamas in my arms on a regular basis. I did not judge them, because I was where they were often. I had a "cyber" circle at that time, my catching net. Women who I had never met before in real life became my life support in time of need.

I hope you find your "net" :). Warmest Blessings.......