Thursday, September 22, 2011

It's OK ... You can say "No"

No time.
Too busy.
Other stuff to do.
... Are you crazy?!

Yeah, we all gotta work to pay the bills, though you should take care of yourself first. Take a moment and evaluate your commitments. Look where your time is being spent vs. what benefit are you getting from it. It's OK, be a bit selfish. This moment is all about you baby!

Let's look at a week: (warning math lesson ahead)
24 hours/day = 168 hours/week
168 hours/week - 56 hours sleeping/week = 112 hours/week 
(8 hours/night sleeping)
112 hours/week - 40 hours working/week = 72 hours/week
72 hours/week for everything else that is life.
WOW! I hope you are making the most of your time.

You can't do everything. You can try, though you will certainly burn out at some point likely resulting at screaming at your kids for leaving their mud covered soccer shoes on while running through the house like monkeys 
(not like that ever really happens).

It is OK to say 'No.'
Here are a few tips on saying 'No:'

1. You deserve to take priority. Take time for yourself. Make sure you give yourself some free time to pamper yourself, just relax, or work on a hobby. Perhaps it is only 10-15 minutes, better than zero. In our home, my boys know that "if mommy is not happy, no one is happy."

2. Do not make excuses for 'no.' People respect honesty and hate hearing excuses. Treat yourself right and you can't help but treat others right too. If you need to use humor to lighten the 'no', do it!

3. Do not make commitments you're not prepared to keep. Saying 'no' is only a refusal of that particular request. Taking on a task that may overwelm you will only result in added stress in your life and resentment toward the commitment. Much better for you to say 'no.'

4. Remember you don't have to give a reason. We don't give reasons when we say 'yes' so why should we have to give a reason for saying 'no.' A simple 'I appreciate you asking, but no thanks' will often do the trick. Kick your guilt to the curb!

5. Set limits. If you are only available to help for 4 hours on Saturday, tell them that and stick to your limits. Keep in mind to be firm but polite. You need to recognize how much you can reasonably do.

6. Delegate. If nothing else works or you begin to feel a bit a stress building, remember to ask for help. Perhaps delegate some of your commitments to others. Delegation is the key to being a good leader. Break up things among family members, friends, organizations, or co-workers. Allow others to help you.

I guess if all else fails next time someone asks you to do something you really don't want to do, and feel like you can't come up with something quickly, just tell them "Oh, I'd love to, but Angie said No." 
I'll take the heat for you.

What did you say 'No' to?


Melanie Dennis, CPO said...

Well said!
Leave to a Rocket Scientist Organizer to "Do the Math".

Brandy said...

I wish I could say No and not give a reason, but I feel silly, like I didn't finish my sentence, so then I slip in a while lie and beat myself up over it forever when it comes to stuff at the children's schools (I'm already there SO much).

Angie Weid said...

@Brandy - Imagine how great you will feel by saying "no" and not casting out a lie. Do people say ever say "no" to you? ... give it a shot and let us know how you feel.